Build a Strong and Sexy Marriage with More of These

Build a Strong and Sexy Marriage with More of These 

In my marriage, I volunteered to do lots of things that I never did. Not in a timely fashion, at least.

HER – “We need to make an appointment with our tax guy.”


ME – “I'll call him this week.”


HER – “One of our sprinkler heads is broken, and the grass in our front yard is turning brown.”


ME – “No problem. I'll replace it this weekend.”


HER – “Can you help me upload the photos on my camera? It's such a pain.”


ME – “Sure. Just leave your camera on my dresser and I'll take care of it for you.”




If you've been married more than a month, you know what's coming next.




The question.




Oh, it might not come for a week or two, but it's coming.


  • “Did you call our tax guy?”
  • “Did you fix the sprinkler?”
  • “Can I have my camera back?”

Far too often, instead of owning it like a man, I stuttered and stammered my way into deeper doo-doo.




“Uhhh, let me think … tax guy … did I make that call? Hmmm. I remember I was going to. Oh wait, that’s right, I was about to call him and set up our appointment when I got called into a meeting. Crap! I’ll do it this week.”




This week?! Aauuugh!  It should have been done months ago. Why didn’t you call him last week like you said you would?!”




“I didn’t have time.”




[Sound of my parachute not opening]




Here’s what “I didn’t have time” really means and what every frustrated woman hears in that moment:




“I don’t really care that you lose sleep at night worrying about our taxes. I don’t really care that our front yard is ugly and embarrasses you. I don’t really care that you’re stressed out and fearful we might lose the family photos from our summer vacation. What matters to you doesn’t matter to me. You don’t matter to me. I have lots of priorities, but you’re not one of them. There are important people in my life, but you’re not one of them. You’re practically last in line."


Master the art of one-sided conversations


Instead, when you volunteer to do something, write it down. Schedule it. Prioritize it.



Prioritize her.



That’s always what this is about.

Better yet, anticipate her needs and take charge. From Chapter 5 of
Wife Magnet:

“Intimate and lasting marriages are forged when we anticipate the day-to-day needs of our wives and spring into action before we’re asked.”

YOU – “I saw tax forms on your desk the other day, and I know how much you hate it when we fall behind. I called our accountant this morning. Our appointment is next Tuesday at 4:00 PM. Is there anything else we need for that meeting? Bank statements? W-2’s?”

YOU – “Hey babe, I keep meaning to fix that broken sprinkler head, but weekends have been so busy since Little League started. It’s my only time with the boys. The good news is I found a handyman who can do it this Saturday for only $50. I know you’re tired of our front yard looking so ugly.”

YOU – “You were having trouble with your camera, right? I went ahead and created a new Dropbox folder named Summer Vacation 2018 and uploaded all those awesome pictures you took. I also changed the settings on your camera, so whenever you connect it to your laptop, new photos will upload automatically to the cloud. You don't have to worry about losing them ever again! I tested it and it works great. I can show you right now if you have a minute.”

I’m guessing, but you might need more than a minute. Especially if her laptop is in the bedroom.


Trust me ... you’ll learn to love these one-sided conversations.


Questions for a strong + sexy marriage

  • What's one thing your wife needs you to take care of?
  • How long have you been putting it off?
  • What message are you sending her? (Take a moment and put some thought into this one)
  • What message would you rather send her? (Write it down)
  • When will you do what you volunteered to do?
  • Excellent! Plan and schedule it now.

Quotes worth pondering

  • “When I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things.” (Bruce Barton)
  • “The things that get scheduled are the things that get done. Until you schedule something, it's only a concept — and extraordinary people don't build extraordinary lives on concepts. They build their lives on action and execution. They get things done.​” (Robin Sharma)

For greater oomph

  • Read Chapter 5. You can download it for free below.
Reignite your sex life! Help for a sexless or sex-starved marriage.

GetBetter Sex Guarantee #1”
(plus a bonus chapter) from the Amazon best-selling book


Get 2 free chapters
of Wife Magnet

Reignite your sex life! Help for a sexless or sex-starved marriage.

Move your marriage from cold-and-distant to close-and-intimate. I'll teach you how to win her heart back!

Jeff Borkoski. Speaker. Coach. Author of Amazon best-selling book Wife Magnet. Help for sexless and sex-starved marriages. Coaching for men and couples.

About the Author


Jeff is a passionate speaker and coach known for his obsession with helping men build strong and sexy marriages. He's a full-time dad, outdoor enthusiast, and raving fan of all things kombucha. When he's not oversharing on Facebook, you can find him in the mountains, the ocean, or Whole Foods.


Marriage Crisis Coaching

​​​​"He's stepped into the core of a woman." (ELIZABETH NEARY)


"It's like he was in my head the entire time!" (SHANNON RAYMOND)


"Guys, if you want to understand your wife, this is it!" (ANNY RUCH)


To the wife who feels alone in her marriage:

This isn't OK. You're turning into stone. You've had to stop caring when he looks at you, smiles at you, or says something kind. You've had to accept the reality of being invisible so it won't hurt so much.


How much longer can you do this?!


I have great news — Filing for divorce and fracturing your family isn't the only other option. I have a proven strategy to transform your current marriage into one that's sexy, fun, close, and intimate!


Click the button below to learn more.


Subscribe to blog

Have Jeff's latest content delivered straight to your inbox. Bringing sexy back has never been easier.


Contact Jeff

Book Jeff to speak at your next event, ask a question, or just say Hi. He personally responds to each request. 

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Build a Strong and Sexy Marriage with More of These

In my marriage, I volunteered to do lots of things that I never did. Not in a timely fashion, at least.


HER – “We need to make an appointment with our tax guy.”
ME – “I'll call him this week.”



HER – “One of our sprinkler heads is broken, and the grass in our front yard is turning brown.”
ME – “No problem. I'll replace it this weekend.”



HER – “Can you help me upload the photos on my camera? I can't figure it out.”
ME – “Sure. Just leave your camera on my dresser and I'll take care of it for you.”



If you've been married more than a month, you know what's coming next.



The question.



Oh, it might not come for a week or two, but it's coming.


  • “Did you call our tax guy?”
  • “Did you fix the sprinkler?”
  • “Can I have my camera back?”

Far too often, instead of owning it like a man, I stuttered and stammered my way into deeper doo-doo.



“Uhhh, let me think … tax guy … did I make that call? Hmmm. I remember I was going to. Oh wait, that’s right, I was about to call him and set up our appointment when I got called into a meeting. Crap! I’ll do it this week.”



This week?! Aauuugh! It should have been done months ago. Why didn’t you call him last week like you said you would?!"



“I didn’t have time.”



[Sound of my parachute not opening]



Here’s what “I didn’t have time” really means and what every frustrated woman hears in that moment:



“I don’t really care that you lose sleep at night worrying about our taxes. I don’t really care that our front yard is ugly and embarrasses you. I don’t really care that you’re stressed out and fearful we might lose the family photos from our summer vacation. What matters to you doesn’t matter to me. You don’t matter to me. I have lots of priorities, but you’re not one of them. There are important people in my life, but you’re not one of them. You’re practically last in line."


Master the art of one-sided conversations


Instead, when you volunteer to do something, write it down. Schedule it. Prioritize it.


Prioritize her.



That’s always what this is about.

Better yet, anticipate her needs and take charge. From Chapter 5 of
Wife Magnet:

“Intimate and lasting marriages are forged when we anticipate the day-to-day needs of our wives and spring into action before we’re asked.”

YOU – “I saw tax forms on your desk the other day, and I know how much you hate it when we fall behind. I called our accountant this morning. Our appointment is next Tuesday at 4:00 PM. Is there anything else we need for that meeting? Bank statements? W-2’s?”

YOU – “Hey babe, I keep meaning to fix that broken sprinkler head, but weekends have been so busy since Little League started. It’s my only time with the boys. The good news is I found a handyman who can do it this Saturday for only $50. I know you’re tired of our front yard looking so ugly.”

YOU – “You were having trouble with your camera, right? I went ahead and created a new Dropbox folder named Summer Vacation 2018 and uploaded all those awesome pictures you took. I also changed the settings on your camera, so whenever you connect it to your laptop, new photos will upload automatically to the cloud. You don't have to worry about losing them ever again! I tested it and it works great. I can show you right now if you have a minute.”


I’m guessing, but you might need more than a minute. Especially if her laptop is in the bedroom.

Trust me ... you’ll learn to love these one-sided conversations..




Questions for a strong + sexy marriage

  • What's one thing your wife needs you to take care of?
  • How long have you been putting it off?
  • What message are you sending her? (Take a moment and put some thought into this one)
  • What message would you rather send her? (Write it down)
  • When will you do what you volunteered to do?
  • Excellent! Plan and schedule it now.

Quotes worth pondering

  • “When I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to believe there are no little things.” (Bruce Barton)
  • “The things that get scheduled are the things that get done. Until you schedule something, it's only a concept — and extraordinary people don't build extraordinary lives on concepts. They build their lives on action and execution. They get things done.” (Robin Sharma)

For greater oomph

  • Read Chapter 5. You can download it for free below (plus bonus chapter!)

Get 2 free chapters
of Wife Magnet

Move your marriage from cold-and-distant to close-and-intimate. I'll teach you how to win her heart back!

Jeff Borkoski. Speaker. Coach. Author of Amazon best-selling book Wife Magnet. Help for sexless and sex-starved marriages. Coaching for men and couples.

About the Author


Jeff is a passionate speaker and coach known for his obsession with helping men build strong and sexy marriages. He's a full-time dad, outdoor enthusiast, and raving fan of all things kombucha. When he's not oversharing on Facebook, you can find him in the mountains, the ocean, or Whole Foods.


Marriage Crisis Coaching

"He's stepped into the core of a woman." (ELIZABETH NEARY)


"It's like he was in my head the entire time!" (SHANNON RAYMOND)


"Guys, if you want to understand your wife, this is it!" (ANNY RUCH)


To the wife who feels alone in her marriage:

This isn't OK. You're turning into stone. You've had to stop caring when he looks at you, smiles at you, or says something kind. You've had to accept the reality of being invisible so it won't hurt so much.


How much longer can you do this?!


I have great news — Filing for divorce and fracturing your family isn't the only other option. I have a proven strategy to transform your current marriage into one that's sexy, fun, close, and intimate!


Click the button below to learn more.


Subscribe to blog

Have Jeff's latest content delivered straight to your inbox. Bringing sexy back has never been easier.


Contact Jeff

Book Jeff to speak at your next event, ask a question, or just say Hi. He personally responds to each request. 

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