The Oxymoron That Could Heal (And Even Save) Your Marriage

The Oxymoron That Could Heal (And Even Save) Your Marriage

Webster’s defines oxymoron as: “A combination of contradictory or incongruous words.” Here are a few of my favorite:

Freezer burn, pretty ugly, loose tights, soft rock, numb feeling, minor crisis, only choice, growing smaller, random order, jumbo shrimp, and quite possibly the most wickedly ingenious phrase ever devised by evil marketers and foisted upon unsuspecting consumers like us — shop ‘n save.


I doubt you’re aware of it, but your wife has a favorite oxymoron. It’s even more intriguing to her subconscious mind than the aforementioned shop ‘n save. I talk to married women across the country and it’s abundantly clear. The oxymoron that revs their engine most is this one:

Alone together.

It’s also what your marriage needs more of.

Time.

Just the two of you.

No kids. No distractions. No laptops. No dishes in the sink. Just the two of you.

Alone. Together.


A tale of two trips


A friend of mine vacationed in Europe with his wife last summer. Three whole weeks. Just the two of them. I saw him recently and asked, “How was your trip?” His answer is what prompted this post. His answer is what got me thinking about oxymorons and missed opportunities. He said:

“I didn’t realize it, but it’s what our marriage desperately needed. English isn’t spoken in the villages we visited, so we literally had no one else to talk to. It was like God set us up! We talked about everything. We shared everything. There was more touching, more laughing, more lovemaking, more handholding, more affection . . . it’s the closest we’ve been in years. We’re still enjoying the afterglow of those three weeks together.”


A few days later, I bumped into another friend. He's an admitted workaholic whose insignificant other had just informed him she's moving to a different city in six months (without him). He's taking the “There's-nothing-I-can-do-about-it-so-I'll-just-wait-and-see” approach. I get it, he feels defeated, but I told him to read Wife Magnet  immediately. He'll quickly realize “I'm moving to a different city in six months,” is her way of saying, “I'm dying. Notice me! I feel alone in our marriage! I can't do this for much longer!”

I also told him to drag “wait-and-see” into the backyard and fire two slugs through its thick skull. 


That brings us to you.

You may not have the luxury of a three-week European vacation, but you do have an hour to take your shoes off, hold her hand, and walk on the beach this weekend. You do have $30 for a few drinks at the local watering hole. You might even have $400 for a few nights out of town. With a little initiative and effort, there’s something you can do to feed your marriage. Have you held it up to a mirror lately? It’s probably looking a little lean. And like my first friend discovered, just-the-two-of-you time could be what it’s starving for.


Here's what alone-together time says to your spouse:


“You still do it for me.”


“There's no one I'd rather be with.”


“I love being married to you.”


“Nothing is more important to me than us.”


So when you pitch your wife with a walk on the beach, or drinks this Friday night, or a brief jaunt out of town, remember to use her favorite oxymoron:

“Wouldn’t that be fun? Just the two of us. Alone together.”


BOOM.



Questions for a strong + sexy marriage

  • What's one alone-together-activity you could put on the calendar right now?
  • Big picture, what needs to change?
  • About your life? Your schedule? Your priorities?
  • Act now. Today you have options, tomorrow you may not.

Quotes worth pondering

  • “Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine.” (Honoré de Balzac)
  • “Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or ‘I'm glad I did.’ ” (Zig Ziglar)

For greater oomph

  • Read Chapter 8. You can download it for free below.
Reignite your sex life! Help for a sexless or sex-starved marriage.

Get “Better Sex Guarantee #2”
(plus a bonus chapter) from the Amazon best-selling book


Get 2 free chapters
of Wife Magnet

Reignite your sex life! Help for a sexless or sex-starved marriage.

Move your marriage from cold-and-distant to close-and-intimate. I'll teach you how to win her heart back!

Jeff Borkoski. Speaker. Coach. Author of Amazon best-selling book Wife Magnet. Help for sexless and sex-starved marriages. Coaching for men and couples.

About the Author


Jeff is a passionate speaker and coach known for his obsession with helping men build strong and sexy marriages. He's a full-time dad, outdoor enthusiast, and raving fan of all things kombucha. When he's not oversharing on Facebook, you can find him in the mountains, the ocean, or Whole Foods.


Marriage Crisis Coaching

​​He's stepped into the core of a woman.” (ELIZABETH NEARY)


“It's like he was in my head the entire time!” (SHANNON RAYMOND)


“Guys, if you want to understand your wife, this is it!” (ANNY RUCH)


To the wife who feels alone in her marriage:

This isn't OK. You're turning into stone. You've had to stop caring when he looks at you, smiles at you, or says something kind. You've had to accept the reality of being invisible so it won't hurt so much.


How much longer can you do this?!


I have great news — Filing for divorce and fracturing your family isn't the only other option. I have a proven strategy to transform your current marriage into one that's sexy, fun, close, and intimate!


Click the button below to learn more.


Subscribe to blog

Have Jeff's latest content delivered straight to your inbox. Bringing sexy back has never been easier.


Contact Jeff

Book Jeff to speak at your next event, ask a question, or just say Hi. He personally responds to each request. 

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The Oxymoron That Could Heal (And Even Save) Your Marriage

Webster’s defines oxymoron as: “A combination of contradictory or incongruous words.” Here are a few of my favorite:


Freezer burn, pretty ugly, loose tights, soft rock, numb feeling, minor crisis, only choice, growing smaller, random order, jumbo shrimp, and quite possibly the most wickedly ingenious phrase ever devised by evil marketers and foisted upon unsuspecting consumers like us — shop ‘n save.

I doubt you’re aware of it, but your wife has a favorite oxymoron. It’s even more intriguing to her subconscious mind than the aforementioned shop ‘n save. I talk to married women across the country and it’s abundantly clear. The oxymoron that revs their engine most is this one:



Alone together.



It’s also what your marriage needs more of.



Time.



Just the two of you.



No kids. No distractions. No laptops. No dishes in the sink. Just the two of you.



Alone. Together.

​​​

A tale of two trips

 

A friend of mine vacationed in Europe with his wife last summer. Three whole weeks. Just the two of them. I saw him recently and asked, “How was your trip?” His answer is what prompted this post. His answer is what got me thinking about oxymorons and missed opportunities. He said:


“I didn’t realize it, but it’s what our marriage desperately needed. English isn’t spoken in the villages we visited, so we literally had no one else to talk to. It was like God set us up! We talked about everything. We shared everything. There was more touching, more laughing, more lovemaking, more handholding, more affection . . . it’s the closest we’ve been in years. Months later, we’re still enjoying the afterglow of those three weeks.”


A few days later, I bumped into another friend. He's an admitted workaholic whose insignificant other had just informed him she's moving to a different city in six months (without him). He's taking the “There's-nothing-I-can-do-about-it-so-I'll-just-wait-and-see” approach. I get it, he feels defeated, but I told him to read Wife Magnet immediately. He'll quickly realize “I'm moving to a different city in six months,” is her way of saying, “I'm dying. Notice me! I feel alone in our marriage! I can't do this for much longer!”

I also told him to drag “wait-and-see” into the backyard and fire two slugs through its thick skull.

That brings us to you.

You may not have the luxury of a three-week European vacation, but you do have an hour to take your shoes off, hold her hand, and walk on the beach this weekend. You do have $30 for a few drinks at the local watering hole. You might even have $400 for a few nights out of town. With a little initiative and effort, there’s something you can do to feed your marriage. Have you held it up to a mirror lately? It’s probably looking a little lean. And like my first friend discovered, just-the-two-of-you time could be what it’s starving for.

Here's what alone-together time says to your spouse:

“You still do it for me.”

“There's no one I'd rather be with.”

“I love being married to you.”

“Nothing is more important to me than us."

So when you pitch your wife with a walk on the beach, or drinks this Friday night, or a brief jaunt out of town, remember to use her favorite oxymoron:

“Wouldn’t that be fun? Just the two of us. Alone together.”

BOOM.


Questions for a strong + sexy marriage

  • What's one alone-together-activity you could put on the calendar right now?
  • Big picture, what needs to change?
  • About your life? Your schedule? Your priorities?
  • Act now. Today you have options, tomorrow you may not.

Quotes worth pondering

  • “Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine.” (Honoré de Balzac)
  • “Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will either say, ‘I wish I had,’ or ‘I'm glad I did.’ ” (Zig Ziglar)

For greater oomph

  • Read Chapter 8. You can download it for free below.

Get 2 free chapters
of Wife Magnet

Move your marriage from cold-and-distant to close-and-intimate. I'll teach you how to win her heart back!

Jeff Borkoski. Speaker. Coach. Author of Amazon best-selling book Wife Magnet. Help for sexless and sex-starved marriages. Coaching for men and couples.

About the Author


Jeff is a passionate speaker and coach known for his obsession with helping men build strong and sexy marriages. He's a full-time dad, outdoor enthusiast, and raving fan of all things kombucha. When he's not oversharing on Facebook, you can find him in the mountains, the ocean, or Whole Foods.


Marriage Crisis Coaching

“He's stepped into the core of a woman.” (ELIZABETH NEARY)


“It's like he was in my head the entire time!” (SHANNON RAYMOND)


​“Guys, if you want to understand your wife, this is it!” (ANNY RUCH)


To the wife who feels alone in her marriage:

This isn't OK. You're turning into stone. You've had to stop caring when he looks at you, smiles at you, or says something kind. You've had to accept the reality of being invisible so it won't hurt so much.


How much longer can you do this?!


I have great news — Filing for divorce and fracturing your family isn't the only other option. I have a proven strategy to transform your current marriage into one that's sexy, fun, close, and intimate!


Click the button below to learn more.


Subscribe to blog

Have Jeff's latest content delivered straight to your inbox. Bringing sexy back has never been easier.


Contact Jeff

Book Jeff to speak at your next event, ask a question, or just say Hi. He personally responds to each request. 

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